A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.
- As you shall make your bed so shall you... mess it up.
- Better be safe than... punch a 5th grader.
- Strike while the . bug is close.
- It's always darkest before... daylight savings time.
- You can lead a horse to water but... how?
- Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.
- A miss is as good as a... mister.
- You can't teach an old dog new... math.
- If you lie down with the dogs, you'll... stink in the morning.
- The pen is mightier than the... pigs.
- An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
- Where there's smoke, there's... pollution.
- Happy the bride who... gets all the presents.
- A penny saved is... not much.
- Two's company, three's... the musketeers.
- Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.
- Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.
- When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.
A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw out a pistol. "Throw out more!" shouts the pilot. So they throw out a rifle. "More!" he cries again. They heave out a missile, and the pilot regains control.
He pulls out of the dive and lands safely at an airport. They get into a jeep and drive off. Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side of the road who's crying. They ask him why he's crying and he says "A pistol hit me on the head!"
They drive more and meet another boy who's crying even harder. Again they ask why and the boy says, "A rifle hit me on the head!"
They apologize and keep driving. They meet a boy on the sidewalk who's laughing hysterically. They ask him, "Kid, what's so funny?" The boy replies, "I sneezed and a house blew up!"