Thursday, December 21, 2006
?Bob Hope spent 25 consecutive Christmases away from home.? He was entertaining troops serving at home and abroad.
A glass pickle ornament is supposed to be hidden in your Christmas tree for good luck.
Alabama was the first state to make Christmas an official holiday in 1836.
Grover Cleveland was the first president to enjoy electric Christmas lights on his tree in the White House.
"White Christmas" is the biggest-selling Christmas single of all time.
"It's a Wonderful Life" annually appears on television more than 300 times.
The Romans began the tradition of exchanging gifts.
Elinor Roosevelt wrote a Christmas story about a girl named Marta.
An angel is the most popular tree topper.
Happy, happy, merry, merry!
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Why they were back there has yet to be determined.
SUMMARY OF MY LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER
I will have one less present to buy when Applebee's sends my gift certificate for forwarding their e-mail. I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for? participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face.... disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda, Singapore ,and Uzbekistan .
I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I can live a better life now because he's told us how to fix everything.
And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
Oh, and don't forget this one either! I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...
Have a wonderful day....
A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late
My own addition: Don't forget that you're not really a Christian unless you forward this 12 people in the next 3 minutes...
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
So merry, happy, feliz; and all those good things.
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
On the 12th day of Christmas, my children gave to me: 12 sticky fingers
On the 11th day of Christmas, my children gave to me: 11 trips to Wal-Mart
On the 10th day of Christmas, my children gave to me: 10 melted crayons
On the 9th day of Christmas, my children gave to me: 9 mood swings
On the 8th day of Christmas, my children gave to me: 8 flying nuggets
On the 7th day of Christmas, my children gave to me: 7 temper tantrums
On the 6th day of Christmas, my children gave to me: 6 sloppy kisses
On the 5th day of Christmas, my children gave to me: 5 food fights
On the 4th day of Christmas, my children gave to me: 4 hours of sleep
On the 3rd day of Christmas, my children gave to me: 3 new teeth
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my children gave to me: 2 hugs and kisses
On the 1st day of Christmas, my children gave to me: A poopy diaper
Makes you glad you?re a mom, doesn?t it? Well, at least it makes it funny.
Thanks to the Mineola MOPS group for a great laugh - and bring your cookie recipes on January 17th!
Sunday, December 3, 2006
What is a mail drop?? It's a shop where you can rent a mailbox, send packages - do anything you could at the post office, really.? But it doesn't stop there.? Mail drop companies can receive packages for you, which is great when you order that expensive gift that has to be signed for at delivery.? You don't have to worry about being home when you use your mail drop address.? They'll sign for you and hold it until it's convenient for you to come get it.? Even better, leave directions and they'll send it on to cousin for you when they receive it.? How convenient is that?
Don't know where a mail drop is?? Check Mail Drop Guide?- you can search for mail drops by state, and even find international mail drops.? When you do find the mail drop service listing for the company you want to use, everything you need to know is right there:? address, phone, fax, description, and even a link to its location on Google Maps.? Some even offer an e-mail form right there for you to contact them.?
So, get shopping and set those elves to work!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
I received this a few days ago from one of my church family members.? It's a message I've been reminded of many times in my own life, but never heard expressed so well.
The holiday shopping season has arrived along with stress, short tempers, tight budgets and long lines. Several years ago, my young daughter and I were discussing the stress of holiday shopping. I am infamous for my impatience and short temper. It isn?t something I?m proud of and the subject of personal prayer. During this particular discussion, we decided to try something new. We were going to "share the love". When faced with poor service, rudeness and the like, we decided to smile and show God?s love ? no matter what the situation. It sounded like a great idea at the time but I had no idea how tough it would be! It wasn?t long before we were placed in a situation to be tested. As I came close to taking a cashier to task for something I can?t even remember now, I felt a nudge at my elbow and a reminder from my daughter to "share the love". I took a deep breath and smiled, and then another deep breath and smiled. It wasn?t easy but we left laughing about how much it took for me to "share the love". There were many more times that holiday season to share the love and over the years since, we?ve shared the love many times.
Anyone that works in retail today has seen the changes in the treatment of customers and treatment by customers. Sometimes I want to speak up and ask if their mothers know they are acting like that but I don?t, I just "share the love". Now many years later, my daughter works in retail. She remembers those lessons that she learned and wishes there were others out there who could do the same.
This holiday season challenge yourself to have more patience, many more smiles, greater appreciation to everyone you meet. Whether it is the harried cashier or the rude driver, just "share the love". Take a deep breath, smile and treat the person as you would want someone to treat your child if he or she were in that situation. You may need help. Ask your shopping pal to hold you accountable and remind you at the right times! I promise you ? you will leave that situation holding your head a little higher, a little less stressed and the respect of those who witness your behavior.
Reflect Christ in everything you do this CHRISTmas! "Share The Love!"
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
I especially love shopping there when I've found some Oriental Trading coupon codes. Hey, the more I get for my money, the happier I am; and the happier I am, the happier everyone else is, right? I rarely shop without coupons, even on the Internet. It only makes sense to take advantage of a good deal whenever possible, and it helps me to be a better steward.
And honey, when your income is as low as ours is, being a good steward is essential to having electricity.
Being a mom with Wiggles fans, I click on the headline about the Wiggles.? What do I get?
Well, that makes a lot of sense!
Monday, November 27, 2006
So imagine my surprise when I check out these custom wedding invitations. I'm expecting to be able to proclaim as one of my favorite Incredimail backgrounds does, "You're unique - just like everyone else!"?
But guess what?? They actually are unique.? With funky asymetrical designs, cutouts, diecut shapes, and even the taboo red, you're actually going to find something you haven't seen anywhere else before.? Flip-flop invitations, anyone?? How about snowflakes for your winter wedding?? And these are elegant invitations - not some hokey "I'm-too-cheap-to-buy-real-invitations" invitations.? We're talking foil accents, beautiful fonts, and custom folds here.
Lest you traditionalists worry, you'll find gorgeous and sophisticated designs, too.? You've got your embossed frame?and rose, double-ring, and even Precious Moments to choose from, among a host of others.
Michael and I have discussed getting remarried for our tenth anniversary next year.? With this site, I may just have to plan that...
We went camping to see my mother-in-law for the holiday.? Sounds like fun, eh?? Well, let's see here...what does that entail?? Here's my list:
Plan menu and packing list to make sure I don't forget anything.
Shop for needed items on aforementioned list.
Locate the rest of the items on aformentioned-aforementioned list.
Pack for 3 days and 3 nights for five people (four by the end, because Michael actually packed his own clothes).
Load (cram is actually a better word) van with ridiculously huge amount of stuff to be "roughing it."
Attempt to get children to "go" before we go so we don't have to stop a block down the road.
Travel 3 hours by car with a one-year-old (Ms. "Get Me Out of This Carseat"), a four-year-old (Ms. "I'm Hungry"), and six-year-old (Mr. "I'm Talking and I Can't Shut Up").
Check into the camp and pay $4 for?three pieces of firewood and no kindling in a place that forbids gathering firewood.
Hastily unload the car because you're late, then reload it with the necessities to go eat with aforementioned children, including a high chair and spare change of clothes for each one.
Make everyone trek to the bathroom to "go" again before you head out on your 30 minute journey to dinner.
Cram 3 adults and 3 children around a table no bigger than 30x48 in a 12x12 kitchen occupied by an early-1900's wood burning stove?(I must interject here that it was really good.? We had BBQ chicken instead of the traditional turkey, and I think I could've eaten the whole thing had I not been making a pig of myself with the Kraft stuffing.).? Some would call it an?"intimate dining experience."
Make another 30 minute trek back to camp and set up in the dark.? It was a screened shelter with a light, though, so it wasn't as bad as it sounds.
Pass out at 9:15.
Wake every other hour with the crying one-year-old between you because you didn't have room for the playpen.
And that was just Thursday...
Still sound like fun?
Ha! Free, my foot!
Okay, so no money outlay, but time?? Oy, make sure you've got lots of it.? The first page of the form says, "It only takes about 4 minutes to fill out the following form for Free Auto Insurance Quotes."? True - it takes precious little time to fill out the information.? Be sure you have your VINs on hand, though.? Yeah, they want everything.? The little lock is closed, so it's technically safe, but remember, they'll be giving your information to the companies they work with to find your quote.
Oh yeah, quote.? You don't get one.?
You get four bajillion e-mails and phone calls from agents to give you your quote... after they've asked you all the same information you've already given again.? And sorry, but I don't give out my social security number when I haven't initiated the phone call, so most of them were a bust.
So did I actually get any quotes?
One - for over $200 more than what I'm paying now.
Save yourself some time and money - go to Farmers Insurance.
Friday, November 24, 2006
My personal favorite is "Buy Nothing Day."? I like the sound of that - avoiding an early morning, rude people, and buying things that have no value whatsoever except that it was "a really good deal."? I first learned about it at Holiday Insights?and included it in our primary school's crazy calendar.? Checking Wiki for Black Friday, though, actually mentions Buy Nothing Day.
Wow, it's bigger than I thought.? According to Wiki, it was created by a guy named Ted Dave, a Vancouver artist, activist and actor who was tired of consumerism and decided to protest with his money.? Well, without it, actually.? He made a bunch of posters and encouraged people to not shop on the last Friday of November back in 1992.? In the 14 years since its Canadian birth, BND has spawned a slew of international sites, a song, and even a couple of churches.? I think I'll just stick to, "I like the thought because I get to be lazy."
Whatever your motivation for celebrating it, Happy Buy Nothing Day!
Monday, November 20, 2006
Hey wait, isn't that what commercials are?? And what about all the adverticles spread all over the web?? Same idea - just?a?lot more aggravating.? Let?me tell you, I cannot stand?finding what I initially think?is a great resource site of articles on how to save money, get things free,?get?tough stains out, etc. only to find?a stinkin' bargeload of adverticles!? Somebody tug it off!
Sorry, my soapbox jumped underneath me there for a minute....
Anyway, PayPerPost is simply what women have done for centuries - only now we get PAID to do it.
And this is a bad thing......why?
Friday, November 17, 2006
Thursday, November 9, 2006
- one of Brandon's classmates while discussing the deer antler she brought in for show-and-tell
"...they get knowledge."
- another one of the classmates finishing her sentence.
Incidentally, Brandon piped up with, "They get them because they're getting more bigger!"? Granted, the grammar stinks, but at least he was right.? The sad thing was that the class disagreed with him.? Haven't these kids watched Bambi??
Oh yeah, right.? His mother gets killed so it's too upsetting for the kiddies, so we'll let them watch Shark Tales instead...
Well, I've discussed online loans from banks before.? There's a new company that does?online loans from individuals - ZOPA (Zone of Possible Agreement - don't ask me where they got the name - it doesn't make any sense to me, either).? It's like adopting a rich uncle - hey, cool!? It's currently available only in the UK, but is getting ready to expand to the US.? On the surface, it appeals to my rebel, stick-it-to-the-man persona.? I can't help but wonder about it, though.? Maybe it's a fear of the new and undiscovered financial country.
Rest assured I'll be keeping my eye on it; but at the moment, that's the only thing I'm putting on it.
- An answer on BlogThing to the question: "What words are most likely to come out of your mouth?"?to find out which Muppet you are.
By the way, here's the results:?
|You Are Miss Piggy|
A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it.
You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less.
You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way.
Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift!
You got that right! It's the month after halloween - what do you expect?!
Hey, I'm all for free.? But refdesk defines free as "Costing nothing; gratuitous."? I'm diggin' here, guys - no luck yet.? Let's check "Free Stuff for Teachers."? After I scroll past two sets of Google ads and the same "Order these Free samples!" (I thought you only ordered? things that you were paying for....hmm - first clue you're getting had) ad that's on every single page, I find a list of a whopping?eight articles.? I stop after I scan the first four.? Great ideas about how using free stuff can help teachers, students, the economy, hey, the whole world.? There's a vital piece missing though: where is all this free stuff???? Oh, yeah, well, you have to go find it yourself.
Wait, this is just a site with a bunch of adverticles, but no actual free stuff?
What a waste of time.
Okay, that's a bust.? Let's move on to "Free Stuff for Babies."? Those little darlings are expensive.? Mama could use some baby freebies.? Let's see, here...This looks promising: "New Parents Will Receive $500 in Baby Supplies For Free."? Cool!? Ah, wait... "Enter your email to see if this offer is available in your area."? Since when do you track your area with your e-mail?? Second clue.
I like to think I'm a fair person.? I'll give it?one more shot.? "Free Food Stuff."? Can't go wrong with free food.? Open the page and discover "Free Food and Candy" - now you're talkin'!? Well, hot dog!? I found something!? I've actually done this one, so I know it's free:? Kraft Food and Family Magazine and Calendar.? Register with the site so you can get all kinds of recipes online (you get an optional e-mail newsletter once a month, I think), and they send you a magazine chock-full of recipes every other month and a calendar with a new recipe for every month.
So, is it worth it to trudge through the adverticles for it?? Nah, just go to Kraft.com?and save yourself a bunch of time.
And check back here from time to time.? I'll list really free stuff that you can get and?where to get it.
Wednesday, November 8, 2006
I have one gripe, though.?? All the ones about stuff you'd?be good at keep telling me I should be a teacher...
We tried to buy a house a few months ago.? It was a nightmare.? Just when we thought (thanks to the realtor) we'd be able to do this American Dream thing, we get the paperwork.? You wouldn't believe all the extra fees, payments, blah, blah, blah that are in those papers!? I wish we'd known more about mortgages when we did it. We wouldn't have looked like such big idiots.?
Mortgages?are explained in depth at PersonalHomeLoanMortgages.com.? Every kind of mortgage you can think of is defined in great detail, and anything you may share with the site is protected by SecureTrust, which complies with several different privacy regulation sets like the FTC and DoNotCall, among others.? I especially appreciate the pre-qualified versus pre-approved loan page.? We decided we'd get a pre-approved loan before we'd try to buy again.? Luckily, it turns out we were on the right track - but it was sheer happenstance.? I learned, though, that getting pre-qualified is actually our first step.
Anyway, check it out - save yourself some mortgage mortification.
Tuesday, November 7, 2006
|Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence|
You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.?
You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.
It's the second week of November, folks.? What does that mean?
Time to break out the Christmas tunes, baby!? This is my favorite time of year - I love Christmas music.? I try to restrain myself until November, but then all bets are off.? The cds come out and the music becomes a non-stop backdrop to my days... Hey,?I gotta do something to stave off the SAD (Seasonal-Affective Disorder).
There'll be a new selection on my playlist this year: Greener's Christmas Song.? You rockers can enjoy the electric version, while us hippies can bliss out to the acoustic version.? I actually like both versions, and will probably purchase both to play depending on my mood.
Oh yeah, and here's a little early stocking stuffer for you...
Monday, November 6, 2006
Sunday, November 5, 2006
I used to be skinny.? When I met Michael ten years ago, I weighed all of 95 pounds while I was wearing my clothes and shoes.? I couldn't gain weight for anything.? I ate like a horse, and nothing.? Little did I realize that it was apparently a delayed-reaction sort of thing, because now I weigh 157 pounds living on fruit salad.
I went to MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) yesterday and our icebreaker activity was telling something about ourselves based on the color of the M&M we picked out of our fun-size bag.? For example, red M&M: tell something about your family, blue: tell something you love to do, brown: something you don't like to do, etc.? So all the reds were saying junk like, "I have a four-month-old," "I have a nine-month-old," blah, blah, blah.? And I'm sitting there looking at these disgustingly thin women while wallowing in my fat rolls with a 1-year-old in the nursery.?
Talk about feeling like the fat kid.? At least I didn't have to eat a plateful of asparagus on a regular basis as a kid.? Ted Murphy over at PayPerPost did. Check it out:
Can you imagine?? Man, I feel for ya, Ted.? Let's go to the gym right after we scarf down a Veggie Lover's Pan pizza...
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
|You are a Brainy Girl!|
Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books.
You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more.
For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests.
A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!
One of my peeves, though, is only seeing a small sample of the font when you're browsing.??Ooh, baby, not anymore!?Download free fonts and free dingbats?at Urban Fonts, and you get to see the entire font before you download it!? Oh yeah, and did you catch that they're free?
You're not looking at the same three fonts with slight variations, either.? There are lots of original, creative fonts.? The dingbats are nothing to sneeze at, either.? There's an entire font of foliage - really cool looking - and an amazingly detailed set of African artwork.? Check out the retro bats while you're there, too.? Trend followers will find it useful for the return of vintage chic.
All in all, Urban Fonts is a forerunner of the font industry, in my opinion.? Not because of quantity, but quality and user-friendliness.? Check out the Identifont and What the Font features, too.? I could have saved myself hours and eyestrain with that over the years!
So go, ogle, download; have some fun!
Monday, October 30, 2006
They've got everything you need, from costumes to wigs, props to magic tricks, and disguise accessories.
Can't see having something eternally just to wear it for a few hours? Londoners can hire a costume from a dozen different categories from?animals and mascots?to United Nations national wear and western.
Even us "uncivilised Yankees" can partake of the fanciness - they ship worldwide. You'll find the most popular costumes for kids and a bigger selection of masks than anyone should have. But you're bound to have more fun than most, too.
So naturally I (inwardly, of course) rolled my eyes when he mentioned PayPerPost.? My first thought when he tells me about something is usually something along the lines of, "How much is this gonna cost us?" but surprisingly, it didn't cost a dime.? No, not even a penny, for you linguistic smarties out there.? The next thing I knew, he said that he had a stash of money in his PayPal account from PayPerPost.? I quickly asked him what on Earth that was and my darling, patient husband explained it yet again.
Writer's block story short, I signed up, started writing (eventually), and now Michael's aggravated at me because I've made $182 since my first payment on October 3 - which is more than he has.? I've got another $118 coming as of this writing,?and?the amount?will only increase day by day.? I've been able to buy gifts for people I love, treat myself and my family, and now I'm saving up for an iPod Nano.
Not bad for a stay-at-home mom in her pjs.
Moral of the story: Don't stop walking for a week, dope!
Sunday, October 29, 2006
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Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
? Baptism invitations?at Wedding-Needs.com are perfect for those of us that don't have the energy or time to make them, though.? There are several absolutely beautiful die-cut invitations of christening gowns (and even a boy's baptismal romper), and the drawing of the sleeping baby is just adorable.? So save yourself some time - you have my permission.
Check this out:? Some?interesting things you find out when you have sons.? This is the funniest list I've seen in ages.
Here's a few teasers:
When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh,' -- it's already too late.
Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.??
You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
Saturday, October 14, 2006
So go get rounded out...
Friday, October 13, 2006
...as long as your condition hasn't made you forget your ABCs...
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Frankly, I'll pass, since I get plenty of potty humor from my six-year-old...
Did I mention that I love books?? That I read the dictionary for fun?? Well, here's a dictionary you normal people might like to read: Mixtionary.? The description on Amazon quotes this:?
"Presenting a special hardcover guide to communicating efficiently in the modern world, in which newfangled ideas and phenomena leave us at a loss for words. This humorous hardcover offers mixed-up modern words for our mixed-up world, each one illustrated by veteran comic artist Shawn McManus. "
There's a video clip about it (where I first learned about the book) at Expanded Books.? Dude, it'll be, like, funtagious.
Who knew reading the dictionary could be so enjoyable?
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Early detection is the key to survival.? Breast cancer information abounds, so you have no excuse?for not doing self exams and getting a mammogram.? Annual mammograms are a must for any woman over 50, and they must begin at 40 for women like me that have a family history or high risk of cancer.? I have 10 years for laser mammograms to become commonplace!? All kidding aside, monthly self exams and annual mammograms make more and more women breast cancer survivors than statistics...
So go take your shirt off and touch yourself!
Another confession - I have 33 hours towards an English major.? Now you know the secret of my infatuation.? I constantly correct my husband and children in their grammar.? It drives Michael crazy, but he doesn't use "due to" anymore - YES!?
Dr. Roth would be so proud.? He was my professor and mentor at college.? His pet peeve was people using "due to" instead of "because of" because it's incorrect grammar.? To this day, I can't use the phrase, and I can't?see it without thinking of Dr. Roth.
Yeah, I'm sad...
Monday, October 9, 2006
It seems that there's a song for everything and everybody.? From adulterers to zebras, and babies in utero to the dead.? TheRiskmaster is a song for today's webophiles.? Making money seems to be the muse for most of us, but I haven't heard a song that actually addressed it.? I like it; it has a slight classic Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers feel to it that makes it a feel good tune.? I found myself refreshing everytime the song ended.
And yeah, it's a little snarky (my word for the week) with the line, "Anyone this rich must have lied."? But really, isn't that how we feel about rich people when we aren't rich?? He's not like us and we're good people, so he must be bad.? I've also found that we have that attitude toward people that come up with a great idea before we do.
Hmm....kinda like Mike Arrington and Rob Hof's view of Ted Murphy.? Maybe jealousy is rearing it's scaly little green head...
It's an aural exhilaration to hear a fresh syllabic homage to language.
Take me, for instance.? My grandmother and mother also live in my town, so just about anybody in town knows at least 1 of us, if not all of us.? I can't get away with squat.? If I went to Ace Hardware (which I don't very often), rest assured someone that knows I'm Pat's granddaughter saw me there and mentioned it to her.? Within 24 hours of me doing something out of the ordinary, my grandmother or mom are going to ask me what I was doing because so-and-so saw me there...and I'm 30!
Now imagine what the teenagers that all grew up here have to deal with.? Who needs home security in Podunk?
Well, it's better than 158, so I guess I should be happy.? My goal is to get down to 115.? Only another 38 pounds to go!? At a pound a week, I should hit my goal around...the beginning of July.? Ugh...Maybe I'll aim for 2 pounds a week.? That'd put me at the middle of February.? Oooh - I'd be skinny for my birthday!
Go me; go me; it's my birthday; it's my birthday!
Okay, official goal:? to be at 115 on my birthday, 13 April 2007.
Wish me luck...
You want in on the secret??Go to PayPerPost, sign up, and make money.? Want to thank me for inviting you to the world's greatest money-maker for SAHMs?? List my e-mail (firstname.lastname@example.org) in the referrer's field when you sign up.? What's it all mean?? Major money for you, and five bucks for me.
It's a win-win-win!
"There's hope and peace and freedom...ain't it about time?"
or a lifetime...
I have an uncle that lives in Odessa.? I'm still trying to figure out how to convince him that he wants to send my family to Disney World just 'cause he loves us so much.? He's the crazy one in the family, but I don't think he's that crazy.?
I must be, though.? Who wants to go stand in a huge line everywhere you go?? And does a depressed woman really want to see grinning, oversized, furry rodents every time she turns around?
Hmm...contagious allergies.? That's a new one.? As of this writing, four of the five people in our family are coughing and/or sound hoarse.? I've spent the last six days holding the baby and wishing I could sleep because I feel like...well, let's face it:? crap.? She refuses to be put down.? This child could be sould asleep - comatose - until you try to lie her in her crib.? Then she starts screaming at T-3 inches from your chest.
So here I am, forced to trudge on as Mom and take care of the sick baby, the sick hubby, the coughing elder daughter, and the Rambunctious Rebel while I feel so wiped out I'm thinking I'm must be running on some preternatural energy source reserved for moms.
On the up-side, I've noticed that my wit is as sharp as my body is dull.? I guess all the energy my body isn't using while I lie around is fueling my brain.
Long live the snarky zombie-wit!
Cast aside the blatantly condescending attitude of the hosts; forget the leading questions meant to plant myths in the minds of listeners.? If their definition of "civilized" (as they called it in their post about the meeting) is to continually interrupt the guests and to allow your cohort unabridged soliloquies on his own merits as a "real" journalist, I must be a Neanderthal.
Rob blathers on about how ?true? journalists don?t accept payment to promote something, and the deception of not disclosing payment, yet is a hired hand for Business Week.? Hey Rob, how much did they pay you to slam PayPerPost on Business Week Online?? Surely you don?t mean that the big-wigs over at BWO just donated a post to you on their blog so you could get your feelings off your chest?? Oh, they pay you to write about the tech industry?? Gee, Rob, ever hear of editors?
Journalism is the precursor to PayPerPost.?? Since paper and ink were combined and distributed, there have been ?advertisers? paying to have their propaganda spread far and wide.? If it weren?t the case, you wouldn?t have decidedly liberal and conservative publications.? They would all appeal equally to both sides of the fence.? How many conservatives do you know that read American Prospect or Washington Monthly?? How about liberals reading National Review or Human Events?? See how far a piece like ?Five Squandered Years? makes it in the offices of National Review, then tell me journalism isn?t bought.
Then there?s the allegory to Tremor ? getting free stuff to promote it.? Hmmm?.I haven?t received any free products for promoting something off of PayPerPost.? Ted hasn?t even sent me the shirt I asked him to (hint, hint, Ted!), but here I am promoting him and PayPerPost.? Somehow Rob and Mike have completely missed the point of PayPerPost.? Could it be that they really don?t know what they?re talking about?
Oops.? Ignorance rears its ugly head.
Here?s one for the circus:? Mike says if a company is so uninteresting that it can?t get it?s own marketing anyway just because it?s interesting, then it?s probably something we don?t need to know about.? Honk your big red nose if you?ve asked someone where they got something you hadn?t seen before within the last, oh, say minute??
Okay, all vernacular aside:? we?ve all learned about something we didn?t know existed because someone else told us about it.?
Hey, I got a free sample of Betty Crocker?s Seasoned Skillet the other day.? If I make them but don?t tell my husband that I got them free, am I being an unethical, non-disclosing shiller?
PS:? Lest Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum question my ethics, I got paid to be snarky about their ignorant propaganda.
Sunday, October 8, 2006
How can a documentary about such an interesting person and such adventurous stories be so boring?
Friday, October 6, 2006
Yeah, okay, that makes sense.? "Voice over Internet Provider."
VoIP Forum?is a lifesaver for those of us behind the telephonic times.? With FAQs, direct links to Vonage, forums galore, reviews, and the latest news about everything VoIP, it's the only stop you need to make an informed, intelligent decision on whether or not to cut the landlines.
Wednesday, October 4, 2006
|You Are a Snarky Blogger!|
You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of.
And that's why they read your posts as often as they can!
See, I'm a bit of a tree-hugger at heart, and while I love the beauty of wood, I cringe at the thought of killing half-century-old trees just so I can worry about denting, scratching, harming the very material that is naturally bored into everyday.
?So I discovered a way to have the beauty?of a light wood without killing Grandpa Tree:?bamboo flooring.? The gorgeous plank you see to the left is not pine, oak, or maple, but bamboo.? Because of its rapid growth cycle (as much as 47 inches in 24 hours), it's becoming a popular choice for those of us that don't want to seriously impede conservation efforts.
Bamboo is also easy to install and care for, and has a wide variety of hues available - just like other wood floors.? Pricing ranges from 2-8 per square foot, so it'll also fit in just about any budget.? You can also choose to install prefinished tongue-and-groove planks, unfinished planks, or have it installed professionally.
Hopefully you'll be able to do it sooner, but rest assured, when I do get my house, I'll be serenely bebopping on bamboo.
Anyway, the meeting was just a beginning-of-the-year, let?s-get-on-the-same-page meeting.? And they love the spreadsheet I do every week letting them know which classes have turned in how much and what our running totals are for the year.
Go me, go me, go me!
Monday, October 2, 2006
And my stomach churns at the thought of 8:15.? The assistant principal asked me Friday morning if I could meet with him and the librarian at 8:15 Monday morning about Box Tops.? I have no idea what the meeting is about.? Am I doing a good job and they just want to encourage me?? Are we just having the beginning-of-the-year, let's-get-on-the-same-page meeting?? Are they going to ream me or "fire" me because I've somehow made them mad?? I can't stand it.? I wish they'd just grab me and say, "Hey, I want to talk to you for a second."
Never set an appointment three days in advance?with a obsessive-compulsive without giving her an agenda.
And there's so much information, I might be able to actually take a good picture.
Who else finds a way to use the word prestidigitator in a song???
Well, I found my own white rabbit of internet marketing, Alice Seba's Internet Marketing Blog.? How cool to find a blog from a fellow mom that understands why I want to take advantage of internet marketing and that I don't have time to be taken in by all the scams out there.? Alice guides moms through the tangled webs and warns you of pitfalls before you take a nose-dive with your wallet.? She even shares her own best finds, like the guide that got her started.
Now excuse me while I go learn more from the newest addition to my favorites list...
and that's not good.
Did you know you know that Africanized (killer) bees didn't even originate in Africa?? And that they were bred to produce more honey, but actually produce less than other breeds?? It's all on Aviva.
Check out the article on Joan of Arc.? How often have you heard that she was martyred for her beliefs?? Find out why she was really burned at the stake.? Let's just say it's a good thing the Church of Rome doesn't abide by the same views on women's dress -
the world would be short a few billion.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
The movie ratings system is a voluntary system operated by the MPAA and the National Association of Theater Owners (NATO). The ratings are given by a board of parents who comprise the Classification and Rating Administration (CARA). CARA's Board members view each film and, after a group discussion, vote on its rating. The ratings are intended to provide parents with advance information so they can decide for themselves which films are appropriate for viewing by their own children. The Board uses the same criteria as any parent making a judgment: theme, language, violence, nudity, sex and drug use are among content areas considered in the decision-making process.
The ratings are a team effort of parents helping one another to protect our children's minds, emotions, values, and - for Christian parents - their souls.
Looking at the new movie genre I discussed in an earlier post, you find that many of the movies are rated PG. Believe it or not, some people don't know what "PG" stands for; it means parental guidance suggested.? Just what does that mean, though? Here's what the officials mean:
This is a film which clearly needs to be examined by parents before they let their children attend. The label PG plainly states parents may consider some material unsuitable for their children, but leaves the parent to make the decision. Parents are warned against sending their children, unseen and without inquiry, to PG-rated movies. The theme of a PG-rated film may itself call for parental guidance. There may be some profanity in these films. There may be some violence or brief nudity. However, these elements are not considered so intense as to require that parents be strongly cautioned beyond the suggestion of parental guidance. There is no drug use content in a PG-rated film. The PG rating, suggesting parental guidance, is thus an alert for examination of a film by parents before deciding on its viewing by their children. Obviously such a line is difficult to draw. In our pluralistic society it is not easy to make judgments without incurring some disagreement. As long as parents know they must exercise parental responsibility, the rating serves as a meaningful guide and as a warning. (emphasis mine)
It's a sneaky little trick. The executives for these movies market them heavily to children, so parents think that they're children's movies, but they're not.
Another fallacy is that if Disney makes it, it's a kid's movie. Take Pirates of the Carribean: Curse of the Black Pearl, for example. There are toys, posters, and school supplies emblazoned with Captain Jack Sparrow just for your kids to enjoy.? My kids got Happy Meals from McDonald's - and Pirates of the Carribean toys. What about an under 3 toy? "Oh these are under 3 toys," I was told.
Wonder what the MPAA rating was for that movie? Remember, these ratings are set by parents. Are you ready for this?
PG-13 is thus a sterner warning to parents, particularly when deciding which movies are not suitable for younger children. Parents, by the rating, are alerted to be very careful about the attendance of their under-teenage children. A PG-13 film is one which, in the view of the Rating Board, leaps beyond the boundaries of the PG rating in theme, violence, nudity, sensuality, language, or other contents, but does not quite fit within the restricted R category. Any drug use content will initially require at least a PG-13 rating. In effect, the PG-13 cautions parents with more stringency than usual to give special attention to this film before they allow their 12-year-olds and younger to attend. If nudity is sexually oriented, the film will generally not be found in the PG-13 category. If violence is too rough or persistent, the film goes into the R (restricted) rating. A film's single use of one of the harsher sexually derived words, though only as an expletive, shall initially require the Rating Board to issue that film at least a PG-13 rating. More than one such expletive must lead the Rating Board to issue a film an R rating, as must even one of these words used in a sexual context. These films can be rated less severely, however, if by a special vote, the Rating Board feels that a lesser rating would more responsibly reflect the opinion of American parents.? (emphasis mine)
Yet, Disney and McDonald's decided, intended, and didmake, market, and sell items related to Pirates of the Caribbean to children and parents of children under the age of 3!
Seems to me Disney's not so much a kid's company anymore...
Never fear, One Step Ahead deals are here!? These guys will send you directly to my favorite section of any store, web or otherwise:? clearance!?
Oh, excuse me, it's called the outlet.
Ever get sick of picking through a site trying to find what's on sale?? Don't worry, this week's sales are right there for you, too.? And for you big senders, find the latest coupons (savings opportunities).
Woohoo!? Time to go monitor shopping!
Language fascinates me.? Enthralls me.? Empowers me.? I may not be able to tell you off to your face, but trust me, somewhere in my hard drive there lurks a scathing, witty, intelligent rebuff to your blatant oafish bullying.? I read the dictionary for fun.? I love crossword puzzles.? Even wordfinds hold an intelligent joy for me.
You give me words, I'm a happy woman.
Oh yeah, I love it already.?
The sting (sorry...but not really!)?comes when you realize that behind its really cute mascot is a well-rounded site that covers the entire moving experience - not just self storage.? It covers everything from a Six-Week Checklist for a Smooth Move?to an International Moving Guide.? These guys even list DMVs by state!
Moving with kids?? Tied down.? Moving plants?? No watered-down info here.? Rights and responsibilities while moving?? You can't go wrong.? Want to save money?? Call Uncle Sam.
Whatever you do when you decide to move, check out Moving.bz?before you get bzzy.
But "for children" isn't always based simply upon a rating. Look at the plot, the context, the message. It started with movies like Treasure Planet and Atlantis. The genre has exploded now with offerings like Madagascar, Shark Tale, and Over the Hedge. How many kids are really gonna get all the nuances of a story like Treasure Island? And really, how much of the story survived the modernization and rewrite? Chicken Run, Chicken Little - they're a little foul (sorry, couldn't help the pun).
Listen, really listen, to these movies. How many times did you laugh at a line that your child didn't laugh at because you got it and your child didn't?
Congratulations! You're a winner in the "Identify Animated Films for Adults" game!
Why? Wit, humor, guerilla marketing, crazy cool people.? Ted and several buddies took to the New York streets early this am with shirts and PayPerPost signs for people to use on the outside segment of the Today show on NBC.? None but a genius so early in his venture realizes and takes advantage of one of the farthest-reaching free marketing tools in existence.
Hey Ted - send me a shirt and post an opportunity for $50.? I'll wear it.? In public.? Every day.? For a week.
Viva la Revolucion!
Where are the applications???
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Yes it is to be ugly...and it's not funny.
Humor doesn't have to cost anyone "face" and it's possible to make someone laugh without making someone else look bad. That's the humor I like. Unfortunately, it's harder and harder to come by these days. Even many supposed "Christian" comics base the majority of their routines on making fun of someone or some group of people.
The most offensive to me is when "Christian" comics make jokes about other denominations. Now don't get me wrong: Jesus loves laughter. I have no doubt about that...but does He laugh when we point out the differences in segments of the "family" with derision? Not to be ugly, but...I don't think so.
Someone wise (I think it was "Mom" on Rollie Pollie Ollie) once said, "It's no fun if it's not fun for everyone."
It's not funny, either.
Monday, September 25, 2006
There's a blog with articles on just about every aspect of affiliate marketing you can think of, and living up to its name appears to be a primary focus.? That looks good to me - I like companies that can deliver.? This one's going at the top of my list.
But why affiliate marketing anyway?? It uses your knowledge to help three people:? you, the company you're marketing for, and the consumer that clicks on your link.? It's a win-win-win.?
As mentioned in a previous post, word-of-mouth is the best advertising.? What does that mean to affiliate program users?? Big bucks.? Companies know the word-of-mouth rule, and are willing to pay a lot of money to those that recommend them.
Need another reason?? How about making money without changing out of your pajamas, or even getting out of bed?? Affiliate marketing allows women that want to stay home with their children to do so without sacrificing the income that would be there if they worked outside of the home.? For just a few hours' work each week, many women are actually bringing more money into the home since the income isn't being eaten up by childcare costs, wardrobing, lunches, and transportation expenses.
Here's another:? not having to deal with checks and where to cash them, since many programs use PayPal or other online payment companies....then getting cash back!? I use PayPal at every opportunity, then use my debit card to the account to make purchases.? PayPal gives me cash back on every debit card purchase - 1.5%.? That means I make even more money.
So, anybody else going to CPA Network?with me?
Yep, definately gotta look into that.? I'll let you know what I find.
...maybe.? I may just tell you where to go buy it from my affiliate links!
While they have services that you can take advantage of, don't think that you can't learn anything from them if you can't quite afford them yet (which are quite affordable, by the way).? If you're looking to make money from home (SAHMs, are you reading?), at the very least you owe it to yourself to check out Affiliate Marketing 101.
Happy more money making!
So there we were, traipsing through the school taking a partially-dismantled chocolate castle through the first grade hall and into the office with Sarah proudly wearing her purple "Butterfly Princess" pjs, Disney princess slippers and a pink marabou and beaded tiara.? Then we visited the library book fair where she shopped happily like Jasmine in the marketplace.? Then we went walking...
Yep, it was a regular parade day for us...
Sunday, September 24, 2006
I'm bound to have lots of funny fodder this evening - Sarah's 4th birthday is today and we're having a party at 2.? I'm expecting to be able to post a slew of quotes within the next day or two.
That, or I'll have gone nuts playing Princess...
Thursday, September 21, 2006
PPC is short for Pay Per Click, or "One of a webmaster's best friends."? When you've got a specific item or service to market, PPC is a great ally in finding and getting qualified consumers.? Check out? Apogee's paid search services.? The FAQ will educate any Internet business owner on the pros and cons of targeted marketing.