Okay, I know you're not going to believe this, but there is a child on this planet named Superman Wheaton. It gets worse: his parents have Superman on the birth certificate, but will be calling him 4Real. Yes, 4Real - that's spelled correctly.
So why didn't they just put 4Real on the birth certificate? The Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages in their home of New Zealand rejected the name because a name "had to be a sequence of characters" according to the unnamed registrar interviewed for the newstory over at Yahoo.
I know it's killing you, so I'll tell you. They decided to name the baby 4Real after seeing the first sonogram and coming to the realization that their baby was....well, for real.
You know, some things are just so weird no one could have made it up.? There's another epiphany here: some people just should really not have kids.
I can appreciate wanting to give your child a unique name, really I do. But there are limits imposed by common sense and any feeling of love or compassion for a child. I mean, it's hard enough to go through elementary school with a normal name, but what will little 4Real have to deal with? And who of us that goes by their middles names can remember the humiliation of being called by their first name as the teacher calls roll on the first day of school? What will he feel when Teacher calls out with all sincerity (albeit twinged with disbelief and confusion), "Superman?"
Are Pat and Sheena Wheaton unfit parents? Are they devoid of love and compassion? I daresay absolutely not. I imagine they are much like other first-time parents - enamored, mushy, ever-present and ever-caring of their little wonder. I would say that they are young, impetuous, and probably not possessing of much foresight. Thankfully, these are things that can change, and drastically - and quickly, with imposition.
I just hope for two-month-old 4Real's sake that they change before he learns his name.