Improvement

I missed my appointment Friday because of stupidity - I thought it was later than it actually was. So I was disappointed that I didn't get to go sell purses. I'll be going in Wednesday morning. At least it gives me an opportunity to make more purses to sell...

I woke up every hour on the hour last night then woke up at 4 and couldn't get back to sleep. Sarah got up at 6 and Brandon at 6:30. Thankfully, my darling husband took them outside and then for an outing this morning so I could sleep. I'm still tired, but not near as bad as I was.

I started to take a B vitamin, which I think is helping. I've actually sat in church (and sang!) the last two weeks. We had a seminar on the 5 love languages this weekend that I enjoyed, so something is working better.

I've also gotten some typing work this week and there's a woman considering having me sew two dress and pantaloons sets apiece for her two daughters to the tune of $40 a set - so I'm excited about the work that has come in and anxious for the possibility of more work to come. I finally put up a website for my sewing work, which seems to be getting tons of traffic, so maybe even more orders will come through.

The secretary of the Parent Teacher Partnership at Brandon's school called me yesterday afternoon and asked if I'd be willing to create a newsletter for the PTP. I'll be meeting with them Thursday morning. They and the principal are also anxious to get me working on the school's website. It's amazing how feeling needed by others outside your family boosts your confidence and self-esteem. To think that people that don't even know me find me useful and are actually seeking me out to help them! It brings a grin and a sigh of happiness from realizing that maybe I'm not invisible to the world after all.

We also got two kittens this past week. They're not more than 5 weeks old and absolutely adorable. Both are lovable and like to purr in our ears. It's made a wonderful difference in Michael - I've seen him smile more since Wednesday night that I think I've seen in 6 months. That might be an exaggeration, but honestly, he's rarely smiled recently. I'm finally getting the lovin' I've been longing for and find it euphoric to lounge around with a kitten happily sleeping on my neck, shoulder, etc.

Here's hoping for a long up spell...

Insomnia

Last week ended with three green dots in a row - hurrah!! Once he got home, it was another story - the fits, etc were in full force. We'll see how this week goes. Yesterday was a school holiday, so I'm wondering how he'll do with the longer break between classes.

I've developed monstrous heartburn that nothing relieves, and I'm out of the heartburn pills that were helping minimally. I'm going to talk to the doctor Friday about getting on Nexium. It's the only thing that worked while I was pregnant with Sarah, and it worked like a charm - oh to drink orange juice and eat tomato sauce without the dragon lurking!

As if peeing and heartburn all night weren't enough to keep me sleep deprived, I've got some sort of sinus thing going on that's giving me headaches and making me fuzzy. I went to bed at 11:30 last night, woke at 1:00 with Michael and Brandon, 2:15 with Michael and Sarah, then 4:00 on my own. The last time I tossed and turned for 45 minutes before I gave in and got up. I did get four purses cut out, though. I even got one made before I took Brandon to school. I'm going to try to get as many made as I can before Friday so I can take them with me to my appointment and maybe sell one or two. That would be lovely.

I hope this apparent insomnia is short-lived, if not non-existent. Maybe it was just my brain going about selling purses combined with the sinus medicine wearing off. Maybe it's preparation for Bethany being here...maybe it's hell on earth....hmmm - that must be it.

Partial Antidote

Brandon has gotten two yellow dots and two green dots this week - a cure! Almost... It's amazing how your child improving his behavior can improve your depression.

I still haven't sewn all week, but at least I have washed a few loads of laundry and I did some dishes yesteray. I'm almost human.

The Braxtons are getting more frequent now - not just when I have to raise my voice to get the kids to hear me. I got a whistle, but it doesn't have the effectiveness I was hoping it would have. I woke up this morning with back pain that feels like what I had during my period. I wonder if it's just how I was sleeping, or if I should worry. I'll mention it at my appointment next Friday.

Bethany has really started moving around a lot. Last night Michael and I actually saw my stomach move. Michael's face was a pretty cool sight.

I still miss the cats, and I'm still exhausted and want to sleep all the time. At least the crying jag seems to be in remission for the moment. We'll see how long it lasts.