Managing the Mortgage Maze

Most everyone has a mortgage.? Most everyone else wants one.

Well, they don't really want a mortgage, but they want the house that goes with it.

The problem is that?when it comes to mortgages, most people don't have a clue where to start.? Well, let me help in that department.? I live in Texas, so I'll start at home.? Texas mortgages are a snap at Personal?Home Loan Mortgages.? You can find mortgage brokers, title companies, and real estate brokers listed, as well as housing statistics.? An informed consumer is a smart consumer, and you'll ace the mortgage test if you start studying here.

You can also find the same listings for specific cities in your chosen state.? And not just the wimpy major-metropolitan-area cities, either.? Even my beloved Tyler is listed for Texas!

Don't live in Texas?? No problem.? Wanna check out Colorado? Colorado Mortgages?are just as easy.? I just better not let Michael see the listings for Elizabeth.? Who knew there was an Elizabeth, Colorado???

There are mortgage calculators (can you really afford that spacious estate?), top headlines about mortgages (did you know there is actually mortgage news?), and a mortgage watch newsletter you can sign up to receive.? There's also a glossary for the mortgage-ignorant and a quick application for those ready to move into that spacious estate.

Before you step into the maze of mortgages out there, make sure you visit the mortgage mavens at Personal?Home Loan Mortgages.

Listen Closely in Vienna

A daring vacationer in Vienna is walking through a graveyard when all of a sudden she hears music. No one is around, so she starts looking to see where it's coming from.

She finally locates the source and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads, a oeLudwig van Beethoven.a

Then she realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward. Puzzled, she leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with her.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but it is also being played backward.

Curious, the ladies agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing and the expert concludes that the symphonies are in fact being played in reverse order.

By the next day the word spread and a huge group gathered around the grave to hear the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker approaches the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's just decomposing!!"

My Right-Hand Man

I've suffered from joint pain since childhood that we've never been able to diagnose.? When an episode occurs, all the joints along one limb hurt and I get the urge to constantly stretch and "pop" the joints.? Usually the only thing that helps alleviate the pain is a scalding hot shower or bath.? I'd tried Ben-Gay years ago and the stinging and smell made me swear it off forever.? I'd also experimented with a slew of other "cures," from medications to nutrition and nothing seemed to work.? So, summer or winter, home or away, I resigned myself to having to live with the pain or stripping down and getting in the tub to get rid of it.

I'm now happy to quote Madame Blueberry: "No more!"

I recieved some samples of Freeze It, a topical pain relief gel, in the mail about a week and a half ago.? I put it on the desk?with the thought that I ought to try it the next time I had an episode, then proceeded to have no pain for a week! Ah well, such is life.?

As expected, the pain struck Tuesday night (the bouts have been hitting frequently lately) along my right arm.? That's not good considering I'm right-handed.? I got a hand towel from the bathroom to get ready for the slime fest and set about going through another disappointing trial.

The first surprise came when I opened the packet - it was a green gel.? I'm not sure what I was expecting and I shouldn't have been surprised when it says plainly on the packaging that it's a gel, but there you have it.? As I applied the Freeze It, I was relieved to find that the smell reminded me of vapor-rub (a comforting scent for me) and not the hideous Ben-Gay smell.? Michael said he thought I had put on some Off from across the room.? The smell did go away within about 15-20 minutes, so I don't consider it a drawback.

It rubbed in easily, and I could tell how much and where I was applying the Freeze It?because of the color. Within minutes, I had free range of motion and lost the urge to stretch constantly.? As it really started to penetrate the skin and take effect, I could feel it working, but it wasn't that unbearable stinging of the other creames that always resulted in my washing it off.? The Freeze It?also didn't get torturously hot like Ben-Gay.? I actually had Michael feeling my arms because you can't tell you have it on your skin!

At a cost of 9.99 for a four-ounce tube,?Freeze It is worth every penny for the relief of my joint pain!? There's also a three-ounce roll-on bottle, which is great for those of you who don't want to get any on their hands.? When you take everything into consideration and then add the fact that I can get it during my next visit to Wal*Mart (which I'll be doing), Freeze It?is my new right-hand (left hand, right leg, left leg) man!