Monday, March 12, 2007

Things I Wish I Was Brave Enough to Say

- I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

- How about never? Is never good for you?

- I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

- I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

- I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

- It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

- I can see your point, but I still think you're full of cow poop.

- Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...

- I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

- You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

- Visualizing? I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you being competent.

- Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

- The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

- Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.


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