Sunday, March 2, 2014

NaBloPoMo or, I'm feeling delusionally ambitious

NaBloPoMo March 2014
So NaNoWriMo is really inspiring to me and I'm awed by my friends that participate (I'm looking at you, Beanses). I've written a lot of words in my time. I've even been paid for the words I've written. Not so much recently. I've always felt a pride being able to say I'm a writer, but these days I feel like a liar when I say it.

So I just saw something about NaBloPoMo - National Blog Posting Month. I fully understand the concept of do [your chosen vocation] everyday. I even subscribe to The One-Minute Writer. I even read the posts when they come in my inbox. Then I delete them without acting on them, because "I just don't have the time." I know: it's one minute, eejit! I'm just consistently inconsistent. And depressed. And tired. And a mom to a toddler. And, and, and. Ugh.

The theme for this month is self. Seriously, Universe? This is the time you choose to reveal this to me? I know. It's like Idris. "...I always took you where you needed to go." Okay, okay.

Blahblahblah. I'm going to attempt. Yikes.

So, catching up. Weekdays have prompts (see them here). Weekends are for free writing, so I'll use the OMW prompts then.

March 1:
Today's Writing Prompt: So What Do You Do?
What do you spend most of your time doing - when you're not writing, of course!

I spend most of my time chasing Sam or chauffeuring the top 3. Generally avoiding housework. Trying to figure out when I can go back to bed. Crocheting. Feeling like a failure. As a wife, mom, housekeeper, person. You know, the same as everybody else.

March 2:
Today's Writing Prompt: Delayed Gratification
What's something good in your life you've had to wait for in order to have?

The biggest thing was kids. We tried for two-and-a-half years to get pregnant with our first child. I thought I was barren. We were discussing if we wanted to get testing done to find out what was going on with whom, if we wanted to foster or adopt, or just get a dog. I remember feeling like that Biblical woman whose name escapes me at the moment.

If only I had known then that the heartbreak I felt then at thinking I was barren and wouldn't have children would feel like a pinprick compared to the daily heartbreak I feel looking at my four children and worrying about their futures. Don't get me wrong. My kids are a good thing. But they are also a hard thing. The days are long; the years are short.

On some completely unrelated notes: Happy Seussday and Texas Independence Day!

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