1. Said the night wind to the little lamb, "That woolly coat ain't got nuthin' on me!"
2. The first Noel, the angel did say, was just as much to us today.
3. Go tell 'em, "Merry CHRISTmas!!!" instead of "Happy Holidays" Over the hills and everywhere.
4. It came upon the midnight clear, the arthritis in my ev'ry bend.
5. The economy's gone down the loo, but let your heart be light.
6. And the thing that will make them ring is the carol that you sing at the top of your lungs off-key.
7. Away in a manger, no room for a whisper from you-know-who saying you're not loved.
8. Dashing through the snow, in a blasted hurry to get to the roaring fire!
9. Hark! The herald angels still sing.
10. It's coming on Christmas Oh crap! I'm nowhere near ready! ACK!!!
11. When I was small I believed in Santa Claus, Though I knew it was my mom giving me something that would make my heart sing.
12. That Christmas magic's brought this tale to a screeching, bloody halt.
13. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to sleeping, tomorrow my plans include church and hopefully seeing a live nativity (if I can remember to go) and Sunday, I want to get the blasted Christmas tree up if it's the last thing I do!
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