Saturday, May 6, 2006


I've breastfed now for about 28 months. I've seen a lot. This I haven't seen.

Breasts usually mean food to my children under the age of 12 months. Bethany thinks mine are pillows.

First off, she sucks her thumb. I don't know what to do about that. The other two never did it. I can lose a paci. How do I lose a thumb? "I'm sorry, honey. You threw it out the window of the car." (This happened to my uncle.) "Well, you shouldn't have tried to wash it in the toilet."

You get the idea.

This is a typical tete-a-sein with Bethy:

    She cries as though she will literally evaporate like some human black hole if she doesn't eat NOW.
  1. She nurses for approximately 30 seconds.

  2. She turns her head, puts her thumb in her mouth and sighs contentedly as she nestles her head on my breast.

Wait a minute!? You mean to tell me you did all that screaming in order to nurse long enough to cause letdown and then use me as a pillow?!

Think again, missy.

I take the thumb out of her mouth and "refocus" her. This time, 10 seconds. I repeat.

Smack. That long. Really. Long enough for her to put her lips around the nipple then plop off to break suction.

Talk about things that suck.

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