Wednesday, May 10, 2006

The Sky is Falling!

How dark is dark? Is it not as bright as the sun shining? or "you can't see your hand in front of your face" or something in between? My definition starts at somewhere in between. Brandon's is "not as bright as the sun shining." This child refuses to go into his room alone unless the light is already on. Not even with the nightlight.

Isn't that why the nightlight is there?

Don't get me wrong - I love my kid, but something's wrong with this person. He's a walking paranoia freak show. Not that I'm not my own kind of freak show (who isn't?), but some days it borders on "Call Ripley's - we got a live one!"

I can see it now:

A comics-style drawing depicting the typical hands-over-the-ears, screaming-in-terror - but instead of a wasp-waisted 50's beauty it's a 5 1/2 year old boy. Floating around his head are depictions of a door entering into a dark room, blowing curtains (with the lights on), toys that move when you press the button on them, public toilets (they're too loud when they flush), and a host of other things that no one of sound mind would be frightened of in a million years.

The story below reads:

Brandon Arcand, The boy of fright

Brandon Arcand of Texas was terribly frightened of most things. The most mundane things sent him screaming and running in the opposite direction. His parents tried everything they could think of, to no avail. Nightlights, flashlights, books, prayers, and "magic" potions and sprays were all tried repeatedly, but nothing worked. Eventually, he died at the tender age of 6. He died of fright when he saw a lump in his bed at bedtime. His parents discovered that the lump that killed him was his foot.

Well, maybe it'd be a wax depiction of him in the bed instead of the drawing...

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