Home Security In Podunk

I live in a small town with about 5,000 people.? Home security around here consists of nosey neighbors and the streetlights every 50 feet.? Not to mention the fact that instead of six degrees of separation, we have about 3.? It seems like everybody's either related or at knows at least 3 people from the same family.?

Take me, for instance.? My grandmother and mother also live in my town, so just about anybody in town knows at least 1 of us, if not all of us.? I can't get away with squat.? If I went to Ace Hardware (which I don't very often), rest assured someone that knows I'm Pat's granddaughter saw me there and mentioned it to her.? Within 24 hours of me doing something out of the ordinary, my grandmother or mom are going to ask me what I was doing because so-and-so saw me there...and I'm 30!

Now imagine what the teenagers that all grew up here have to deal with.? Who needs home security in Podunk?